poetry gave me the space to not make sense

me, filming myself in the fog 3am in Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Even in my earlier artistic years, when I was in elementary school — I wrote full novel stories, filling up entire notebooks, then handing them in to my teacher. Not for a grade, for fun.

In my life i’d go through chronicles of consistent writing, then lose myself in other mediums, like creating stop-motion films with my friends or creative photography ideas or just times of taking a good break from it all, and simply enjoying life happen around me — singing & dancing.

During highschool I knew I didn’t have any interest in college. I wanted to learn on my own terms — everything I was interested in, I was learning on my own time. I was already too ADHD for the classes I rarely showed up for, thankfully I had a dream — I wanted to work my ass of while I was young, so by the time I’d graduated I’d be able to buy more camera gear, travel, enjoy my life, figure out what I really want to do & that’s exactly what I did. I wanted to learn on my own terms.

Thanks to my marketing class, which allowed me to be out of school by noon, and on my way to my full-time job which also gave me school credit — I was high-flying focused on saving all my money, with a bright future ahead of me. Maybe it’s who I am, maybe it’s just my free spirit or maybe it was because I tried psychedelics at a young age, i’ve always felt the need to have a strong sense of purpose & direction in my life. I’ve always wanted to have a strong sense of who I am, what am I here for — how can I have the most fun, how can I build a happy, fulfilling life for myself? How can I be closest to God?

I graduated highschool & began living my dreams — coasting on the money I had saved to buy myself a professional camera and a laptop, I didn’t have to work for the first few years after school — and this gave me the freedom to travel, I saw so many of my favorite bands & the most epic venues — I went off with my photography, and got obsessed with film making, I started making money & I began a photography business by 17 years old & I called it Rich Aperture. As I began navigating the world as a young adult, diver deeper into my love for filmmaking and editing — I began writing screenplays, for practice, for fun or for actual film projects i’d done.

Writing has always been so natural for me. If I was ever struggling with a thought, i’d write about it — i’d ask myself questions, to go deeper, and i’d let my mind run with no restrain. But my favorite? Is writing poetry. Inspired by cyphering with my closest friends, throw on a beat and start rapping back and forth — some of the best times in my life, free-flowing in this way just gave so much peace to my mind. Poetry gave me the peace to be imperfect. Poetry gave me the space to not make sense, or to find sense in things that don’t make sense. Does that make sense? Poetry allowed me to play with words — it got my brain excited, because, anything could be turned into poetry.

Overall I think it’s important to have some kind of writing in your life find a balance of writing logically & illogically — it gives your brain an upgrade, every time you write — you are manifesting your goals, dreams & feelings. I build my own confidence by teaching myself how to think, redirecting my thoughts — and allowing the ADHD full speed, allowing the intrusive funny thoughts to come through.

I’ll stop writing for a while, and when I pick it up again- I’m reminded of all the pages, all the journals i’ve filled up, all the boxes of journals i’ve filled up and all the blank pages waiting to be fulfilled.

Habakkuk 2:2 says, “Then the Lord answered me and said: ‘Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.”

richaperture.com

Photographer & Filmmaker on Kaua’i

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