our inner child makes us selfish
Are we born selfish? How to escape your self-fulfilling prophecies through speaking to your inner child and developing selflessness:
I was doing an art show in my city called “The Art Collective” with a crew of local artists. Displaying what I thought to be my best photographs. Stacks of acrylic sheets, cut into frames, wooden fixtures for the “floating pictures” feel. Sprinkled with moss, crystals, shells and lights. I took pride in my setup.
Art enthusiasts formed into the events center. Comic book artists, psychedelic paintings, pottery, drawings and artists talking.
In the first hour of the event, people admired the art. However, I noticed that most people were walking past my table, with no regard. Some gave no glance in my direction. No one giving me the attention or admiration of my work in the way I wanted them to.
Before I could start sinking in a sea of self doubt — I exited to go outside for an “adult time out”.
“Why are you so upset?”,
I asked my inner child.
“You know why.” 😡
I gave my inner child a compassionate hug.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Are we born Selfish?
As babies we rely on nurture (vs. nature). We live, breathe, and poop for ourselves. We cry if we’re not held or assisted. Infant consciousness relies on pleasure.
We may not be born selfish but as we grow older, into teenager consciousness — we become selfish again, circling back to our self-absorbed stage. No one understands us during this phase except for other selfish teenagers.
The point is, as adults it’s no longer helpful to ourselves to cling to infant consciousness such as helplessness, neediness, throwing tantrums when things don’t go our way, letting our emotions run us. Or teen consciousness, stubbornness, rudeness or self-centeredness.
A self-fulfilling prophecy is when you predict or expect something, when you believe something will happen, resulting behaviors align to fit those beliefs — our beliefs fulfill our actions.
If we believe we should get appreciation for the things we do or how we are and events, art, people and life do not meet our own expectations we become disappointed.
An Expectation is a belief centered on the future which may or may not be realistic.
I shouldn’t even label myself an artist if I can’t appreciate the surrounding art. Why should I be in this art event, literally called The Art Collective if my only motivation is to seek validation for myself?
You will not find happiness living for only for yourself
Anyone, regardless of your religious beliefs, gender, social status, etc can apply this essence:
Just as introspective yoga sages and yoga scripture states about the happiness we seek ~ happiness can only be found if we seek happiness for others.
Karma Yoga is a practice to live a life in which one tries to be in service of God, The Universe, Ultimate Love, The Bigger Picture, whatever you desire to call it — to be in service of That, and others rather than just living for oneself. Meaning to live a life in which one sees themselves as a servant, not a master; as a caregiver, not an exploiter.
The quickest way out of a negative state of mind is doing good for someone else
There is always someone you can help, crack a joke at, compliment, make smile and appreciate.
Become unselfish by becoming Selfless.
Purify your nature, stop focusing on yourself. Open yourself to a higher state of mind.
So what motivates the people who help the homeless? Who work jobs they hate to support a family they love? People who sacrifice and risk their lives for a cause?
Love.
God.
The bigger picture.
The collective.
I went back inside the Art Collective with a new attitude. Separating from my self labeled “artist” position. Dissociating from my art table, expectations and selfishness.
I spend my night focusing on appreciating the surrounding artists. Grounding myself in a meditative time on the artist’s booths and people, asking questions like — what’s this material? what inspired you? Is there a deeper meaning?
I meet and had a conversation with every artist and person in that room.
I almost forgot about my art table because I’d fallen in love with the experience I was having. The less I thought about myself, the happier I became.
Practice talking to your inner child, to find inner acceptance
We identify who we are with our emotions, wants and needs more often than who we are beyond our desires.
Express yourself as that selfish child.
Allow and recognize feelings of neediness, hopelessness, disappointment etc to come up. Allow the helpless child to express herself fully.
Express the inner child with compassion, then play the role of the adult.
Imagine your younger self sitting across from you, and you, the adult talking to her.
Say to your younger self:
“Listen to me, I am your adult self. You’re no longer a helpless child. You’re a grownup now. You’re wise enough to help yourself. We don’t need anyone to take care of us anymore. We can allow ourselves to love ourselves and love the surrounding people.”
https://medium.com/@cinimist/our-inner-child-makes-us-selfish-the-less-i-focus-on-myself-the-happier-i-am-10f13be67d76